Author Archives: Cathy

This is not a political blog. In fact, I usually do my darnedest to keep my politics out of public forums. But this story/link posted on Nicola Griffith’s blog about a family denied the opportunity to see their dying partner/mother is an outrage. A crime against what we humans should have over the basest of creatures: compassion. I’m sure the hospital social worker, the doctors and other personnel were just following the rules. Well, you know what? The rules suck. And when rules suck, when they prevent loved ones from seeing their ill family member and prevent them from saying good bye, the rules need to be changed. Now.

For those of you in Washington state, Referendum 71 is worthy of your attention and your vote. If you live elsewhere, find out where your state stands on same-sex marriage and domestic partnerships. You may be surprised. And possibly stunned and disappointed. If so, make an effort to change it.

If the states won’t step up, there needs to be a federally mandated equal marriage law. Equal.

I have never understood how granting equal rights to all could possibly be detrimental to anyone. When I read the story I wept for that family and for everyone caught up in the stupidity that is the current climate. And my friends, we are ALL caught up in the current climate.

{A quick preface: One of the things I love about world building in fiction is the use of a phrase unique to that world. “Frak” in Battlestar Galactica. “Damn the void” in my own work (yeah, shameless plug. So sue me.). In Firefly, one of the best shows EVER on television, it was “Shiny,” in reference to something good. }

Yesterday, amid the catching up of family doings with my old friend Patti (her kids are BOTH in high school now, her oldest a senior! Yeah, we feel old.) she told me about the enthusiasm her daughter has for a particular teacher’s lessons. Her daughter often comes home with a gleam in her eye and begins a conversation with “Today, Mr. Smith talked about…” and goes on to reiterate everything Mr. Smith said about one topic or another.

“Remember when we used to be that excited about everything our professors said?” Patti asked.

“We were young then,” I said. “Everything we heard and did was still shiny. Now, most things aren’t so new.”

There are things in life that we first gaze upon with wonder and enthusiasm. Events or ideas or even objects we fawn over and proudly share with the world, or maybe even keep hidden from view so we alone can bask in its glory. There is a shine that might blind us to everything else, dazzle us with its brilliance, attract the attention of others. It is all good and amazing.

But sometimes, somewhere along the line, the shine is dulled. The brilliant observations of a beloved professor are chipped away by better techniques and different views. Travel is no longer the carefree romp across the country, but a slog between crowded airports on crowded planes. Relationships, always shiny at the beginning, are worn by time and dinged by life.

The challenge is to find the shine. Not just to experience new things that make your heart race and feel like you’re nineteen again. Those are wonderful and should be part of your life. Maybe not skydive every day, but even something as simple as trying a new dish at your favorite restaurant, or trying a new restaurant, can set you on a world of discovery.

No, for me, the real challenge is to buff those things that once made my heart race and have lost their glimmer for some reason or another. The return to a hobby I used to devote all free time. Re-reading a book that made an impact on my younger self. Re-igniting the fire we had before the patter of little feet.

If I can make the effort to see these things in a new way, if I can remind myself why I loved them so, and perhaps find a new facet to admire, they will shine for me once again.

What old passion can you think of that you might re-awaken and say, “Shiny!”?

In these tough economic times, I can completely get behind government and private assistance, even bailouts if the Average Working Joe or Jane gets a break somewhere (bailouts being used for million dollar bonuses to executives are totally nauseating). And I can understand if tax payments need to be renegotiated so folks can still maintain a living. But there is an ad for a tax relief service on television that has me fuming.

The ad starts off with an everyday looking couple saying they owed $30,000 in taxes but when they went through this service they ended up only paying $3,000. The next couple (and these little bits always show a man and a woman, whether they are married or partners in some business) owed $100K and paid only $10K, or some such fraction. Each of the four or five bits increases the original amount owed, with the final being $3 million, and the happy couple reveals they actually paid $1 million. That’s what this company does, eases the burden. Fine, except for one thing. These people seem more smug than relieved. They come across not as “Oh my goodness, we were so buried by all kinds of financial difficulty that we couldn’t breathe and now we can afford food again.” but as “Heheh. Screwed the government and, in effect, the rest of you people. Suckers!”

Now, as I said, I have no issue with helping folks when they need a hand. And I’m not going to argue the tax code here (mostly because I don’t understand it). What gets me riled, and never ever willing to consider the company, is the attitude portrayed by the couples. Sure, taxes can be difficult to pay, but if they aren’t paid many federal programs that do things like provide health care to kids, veterans and the elderly don’t get sufficient funds. Schools don’t get money, highways don’t get maintained, etc. There’s less going into the coffers, less to be used for the things we need. If taxes can’t legitimately be paid because there are too many other things demanding payment and you need help, that’s fine. Get help, pay what you can. But don’t sound like you’re happy about it. Because for every dollar you aren’t paying, some program is losing a dollar.

I was raised to believe we are a nation that takes care of its own, and then some. That everyone should do what they can to help those in trouble. Folks receiving such things as tax aid should be, first and foremost, legitimately deserving, and yeah, even grateful that there is help to be found. Not grovelling and feeling like they are lacking, but appreciative. And even if you feel more smug than relieved, at the very least don’t let the rest of us suckers feel like suckers.