Her name is Peggy, and I’m damn tired of her getting all kinds of perks while I have to do the drudge work around the house. She goes to movies and restaurants with Hubby. She is the goody-two-shoes who supports public television and radio. She even sent papers off to the title company when we refinanced our house. That Peggy! If I ever meet her, I’m gonna punch her in the nose. But I never will. In fact, no one will, not even Hubby.

Let me explain. Peggy is a mistype on some paperwork as well as a figment of my husbands imagination (more on that in a minute). It all started when Hubby was giving to the local public radio station. He’d put both our names on the form, but for some reason the person who entered the info renamed me Peggy. And so the Other Woman was born.

We kept getting donation reminders in her name. Even a phone call or two. And without knowledge of that clerical error, an old office manager I had, whom I didn’t like, tried to get my attention by calling out Peggy (he knew my real name but was befuddled that day). I ignored him even though I knew EXACTLY who he wanted. Why yes, I can be a b****.

But Peggy isn’t limited to paperwork and befuddled coworkers. She has been around for a while so it shouldn’t be a surprise when she horns in on my life. Or rather, the life I wish I had.

(Trailer for film now out on DVD comes on television)

Hubby: Oh, that was a really good movie. Remember the part–

Me: I’ve never seen it.

Hubby: Sure you have. We went after eating at that new restaurant in Anchorage.

Me: (giving him cocked eyebrow of distain)

Hubby: Oh, yeah. That must have been Peggy.

Me: I hate her.

So, Peggy, I hope you’re enjoying yourself. But do us both a favor. Load the dishwasher or vacuum once in a while. I can’t blame the lack of clean forks on you forever.